Like God

"Treat everyone you meet like God in disguise." Rev Run

This quote instantly made me think of "what if God was one of us". This just brings to light the idea of treating people how you want to be treated. Another good example is "Beauty and the Beast" where he gets transformed by the witch for treating her poorly. Back to the original quote though...

If "God"(or whatever you call the universal powers that be) is this being we ultimately respect and love, then treating strangers that way can't end too badly. What about the people we are around every day though? In my life there are several people I just cannot stand to be around. Their gaping wounds just too big for my love to heal or my patience to tolerate. And yet every few days, there they are in my living room chatting away. I've tried not talking, I've even left a few times but still these people return.

So I'm instituting "Like God". This is basically an upgrade on seeing everyone as a mirror. With this proccess, you show respect and act as much through love as is possible because the goal is to treat and see people as if they are "God" in disguise. I challenge you to try it for a few days and see how it changes your life. The basic principle is to treat others better than you want to be treated.

Wish me luck!!!

Puppies

--part 3 of responses to sage advice--

"All men are NOT dogs."

With the amazing number of jerks out there, this is a revelation I feel women need reminded of from time to time. As not all women are the same, all men aren't either. I have recently been reminded this.

One man in particular has made me wonder frequently in the past couple of weeks if the above statement can be even close to true. Every time I turn around there is a sexual innuendo or an offer for a favor with high prices on the pay back. To top it off- it's not just him I've had to deal with. Several "friends" are way to excited about my being single and have started "sniffing" around the perimeter and hinting that perhaps friendship is not the only thing on their minds anymore. And while I am sad some of these friendships are coming to an end because of this, I have to be thankful that not all men are the same.

Over the last few weeks, I have been blessed to spend time with a wondeful man. An ex of mine and I have started talking again and while it's obvious that we both might want more out of this, he has been a perfect gentleman. We watch movies and have long conversations about everything or nothing and time just flies. When I know I am going to see him- I get excited. I change into just the right outfit and then back into pj bottoms & a t-shirt lol. I have things I just can't wait to tell him- in short, I just might be falling in love with him all over again. And while it's fun and exciting that's not the point of this post.

The point is that everyone is different. Just because you have been hurt by men doesn't mean there isn't one out there who won't recognize you for the amazing woman you are. Not all gorgeous, hard working, intellegent men are gay or married! They do exist somewhere in the world and unfortunately you haven't met the right one yet. By focussing on the negative aspects of a few, you ruin it for the whole and also for yourself. In life, it is important to take things one day at a time. Greet each situation as if it's the first time you've approached it. Same for people! Yes, there are men who are dogs, and there are women who are Uber Bi-otches. But this is not every single one of them.

You've officially been reminded! Now hug yourself for me and go find an excuse to laugh...

Isn't he Grown?

--part 2 of responses to sage advice--

"Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior."

This one is for you, sis. I love you reguardless... My sister's boyfriend and I do not get along. Mainly because I feel like he is underhanded, childish, and irresponsible most of his good days. (I know... what happened to judge not lest ye be judged? but it gets better...) He thinks I am some useless whore and not worthy of spitting on if i'm on fire. That being said, my sister is a nut behind him and feels the need to explain his actions to me. This quote made me immediately think of them.

There have been several instances where my sister has come to me upset over the fact that me and her boo simply cannot and will not get along. I told her to get a new guy and we'd get along fine but ehh... not what she has in mind. She sits me down at least once a month and says "well he's going through this" or "he didn't mean it like that". And while that is all fine and good, shouldn't he be the one explaining it? Where is his responsibility in this scenario? On her shoulders where it shouldn't be. I am so fed up with her excuses for his behavior. I'm supposed to respect this grown man who can't even talk to me when he acts an ass? Is that a dummy question? Cause I for one think it's not him at all. I think she feels bad for how he acts and for whatever reason is deciding to stand by him. This added responsibility on her though is a stress in their relationship that I hope does not blow up in her face.

Ladies, what happened to looking for a man people in your life could respect? Where has the desire for an equal partnership gone?

I understand wanting children but this a grown man and it's not your job to right his wrongs. His childish behavior is on him. I'd believe he was appologetic if HE apologized. There's no need for excuses when a man should be able to take responsibility for his own actions.

Just stop it please! No more excuses- make them take on their own responsibilities!

Happy Valentines Day!

I hope you have a day full of love.

Awarded! Blogging with Purpose

Gotta love my mom! She is so sweet and has awarded this blog :)

my first award ever:


Blogging With Purpose Award Rules:

1. Awarded parties must nominate five people who have not received the award.
2. The blogs that receive the award must serve some purpose.
3. In their post about the award they need to link back to this entry.
4. Awarded parties must post the award banner on their site. The banner must remain linked to the above linked site.

My nominees: NONE- post a response to this post with your link so that I can check it out. I don't blog surf like most people. I'm dedicated only to mom's and this one lol so help me out by letting me check out your blog! Even if you're not selected- it's a free shameless plug to your blog ;)



Mom's Blog

Futility in Honesty

--part 1 of responses to sage advice--

"Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later."

This comment inspires so many feelings that I wonder where to begin. Lately I am having to deal with the futility in honesty. Yup! the complete and utter uselessness of being honest all the time. Now, while the above statement was probably made by a jaded woman, it does apply to all people both men and women.

The revelation from this quote? When we know of something true and bad in someone's past, we will throw it in their faces to defend our "correctness" in a situation. ie. My own sister saying I am an act or shady, when in fact I am bluntly honest and while yes I have made several mistakes in my life have never been malicious to anyone on purpose(least of all her). Now, even understanding that these were words spit out in anger, I wonder if maybe had I not been so honest, she would have had a leg to stand on? Answer- NO! She would not have had a single moment in our history to say I acted in anyway less than honorable especially considering most of these "facts" come from things I myself have told her in confidence.

Before I go on, please understand that I am not saying to lie! When asked a straight forward question you should always be honest. Honesty is after all a virtue. However, there are some things to consider in defining if the honesty is futile...

1. Who are you being honest with? If it's anyone other than yourself, your partner, or your parent- stop giving so many details that you'll hang yourself with later.

2. Why do you feel the need to share this information? If you're telling old stories about glory days, fine just be careful who you're telling these things to. If you're confessing- best save it for a preist who can't recognize you in church next Sunday.

3. What is gained by this honesty? If it's a moment of good honest communication, congrats to you. If you are using facts to hurt someone- you're not being honest, you're being cruel. If you are clearing your conscience (as sometimes must be done to keep relationships etc...) try to speak from the heart with sincere regret and disbelief that you could have ever done such a thing.

When and where play a role into it but this is only depending on the type of people you associate with. Honesty can build or destroy trust. Trust however is something that must be earned and is at the base of that crazy little thing we call LOVE. You cannot trust someone who is not honest with you. But is it neccesarry to share every single detail? Discretion is key in avoiding so many problems in life. If you can't be good- at least be good at being bad and keep it private. Secrects can destroy people but by being too honest people still get hurt.

Doesn't that last paragraph just scream to your naughty side... *ooh she tolds us how to get away with it* ?? This is heart breaking if you have answered yes. My whole point in the "futility of honesty" is that at the end of this is that honest people are persecutted and punished. None of us are perfect! We are allowed mistakes- it's called life people and just like the board game things happen and people change depending on situations they encounter...

My prayer for 2008 is that honesty is no longer futile. That people can reach inside themselves and find a small bit of heart to respond to the truth without anger or pride despite what other feelings it may bring. And that by knowing everything, we cherish that which is in front of us even more.

Being Thankful

I read somewhere once that "Thank You is the only prayer you need".

Today, as well as many others I have to push myself to find things to be thankful for. I mean thankfully enough I am not hurting today, have no huge engagements I have to prepare for or stress about, and well honestly I'm still in my pj's so something has got to be going right! LOL.. But how do you look inside on the bad days and find something to be honestly grateful about?

I can't tell you the answer to that because I look outside of myself on such days. Today for example, I have been reminded that someone does love me. (I cheated & checked my old text messages lol) Between online friends like, Lesley, and real life friends, like my mom- there's always someone I can reach out to. And even when they are not readily available, I can blog or email with the knowledge that when they see my meesage they will respond. When the weather is rainy and my knees hurt because of it, I am thankful for the excuse to take it easy that day. When something hasn't worked out as planned, I force myself to remember that it did at least work part way. My mom posts at least once a week a list of things she is grateful for. I am amazed how it varies or what even inspires it and yet she does it to remind herself that on days like these there is still enough good in the world to smile about.

The fact that your heart is beating is reason to be thankful. And I just rememberred that! May you find a reason to be thankful!!!

Acceptance vs. Understanding

So as I sit here, slightly angry at my sister, tranisitioning into a mood of cool acceptance, I feel the very serious need to cry out to someone anyone who can and will hear me. In the past few weeks I am being constantly reminded that I for one cannot live another person's life, nor should I judge their's. After a fight with my sister (that in retrospect should have been handled differently) I am beginning to hope that maybe more people can take on this same view of "Live and Let Live" that I try so hard to embrace.

As I look up acceptance on dictionary.com, I find that I don't like how they word it. So I search deeper and find buried in the definitions of "accept" the heart of what my issue is lately. Defininiton number 6 states that to accept is "to accommodate or reconcile oneself to ie... to accept the situation". However, in my life I strive to be understood and therefore definition number 9 comes into play. Accept meaning "to receive as to meaning; understand".

In a world where so many people are hurting (physically or emotionally) there is a very important healling that can take place by using the practice of acceptance. When I look back to the argument with my sister, I did not approach the situation with definition 9. I used 6- I accepted that she would have her view and I would have mine but if I would have taken it as far as to understand who she is and how she could feel the things she said, we probably would be on speaking terms. And while I have no desire to change the state of our current non-communication (it is for the best) I hope that someone reading this will learn what I have been reminded. Acceptance and Understanding go hand in hand.

We can accept a situation but we must look further than that (into a deeper place) and understand the reasons behind it. By understanding that we are different, we open the doors things we may have never encountered had we simply allowed our ignorance to control us. I've personally been soul searching for why this is so important and I believe that the stresses in my life lately have come from not being able to be understood. I have few people who really "get me" and I am so grateful for them. There are so many days where I can do without those who don't but as the expressive person I am, I feel that maybe helping others understand you is better than them just expecting you to be a certain way. If people know why you do certain things, they are more likely to accept(6) the behavior.

When I practice "Live and Let Live", I tell myself that while I may not like a situation, it is ultimately the other person's decision for their life and try to continue showing them the love and support I have given all along. Sometimes this is not a healthy behavior, sometimes it is all it takes to make a friend more like family. We all strive to be accepted- part of the group. This is our desire to be loved underlying our actions. My new goal is to be understood. Like me or not, you will know why I am the way I am and we'll just have to go from there...