Acceptance vs. Understanding

So as I sit here, slightly angry at my sister, tranisitioning into a mood of cool acceptance, I feel the very serious need to cry out to someone anyone who can and will hear me. In the past few weeks I am being constantly reminded that I for one cannot live another person's life, nor should I judge their's. After a fight with my sister (that in retrospect should have been handled differently) I am beginning to hope that maybe more people can take on this same view of "Live and Let Live" that I try so hard to embrace.

As I look up acceptance on dictionary.com, I find that I don't like how they word it. So I search deeper and find buried in the definitions of "accept" the heart of what my issue is lately. Defininiton number 6 states that to accept is "to accommodate or reconcile oneself to ie... to accept the situation". However, in my life I strive to be understood and therefore definition number 9 comes into play. Accept meaning "to receive as to meaning; understand".

In a world where so many people are hurting (physically or emotionally) there is a very important healling that can take place by using the practice of acceptance. When I look back to the argument with my sister, I did not approach the situation with definition 9. I used 6- I accepted that she would have her view and I would have mine but if I would have taken it as far as to understand who she is and how she could feel the things she said, we probably would be on speaking terms. And while I have no desire to change the state of our current non-communication (it is for the best) I hope that someone reading this will learn what I have been reminded. Acceptance and Understanding go hand in hand.

We can accept a situation but we must look further than that (into a deeper place) and understand the reasons behind it. By understanding that we are different, we open the doors things we may have never encountered had we simply allowed our ignorance to control us. I've personally been soul searching for why this is so important and I believe that the stresses in my life lately have come from not being able to be understood. I have few people who really "get me" and I am so grateful for them. There are so many days where I can do without those who don't but as the expressive person I am, I feel that maybe helping others understand you is better than them just expecting you to be a certain way. If people know why you do certain things, they are more likely to accept(6) the behavior.

When I practice "Live and Let Live", I tell myself that while I may not like a situation, it is ultimately the other person's decision for their life and try to continue showing them the love and support I have given all along. Sometimes this is not a healthy behavior, sometimes it is all it takes to make a friend more like family. We all strive to be accepted- part of the group. This is our desire to be loved underlying our actions. My new goal is to be understood. Like me or not, you will know why I am the way I am and we'll just have to go from there...