sage advice i never really listened too...
recently i've been put in the position of start dating again or become a hermit. as you should know while i love being at home, i cannot completely cut myself off from the world. nor can i give into complete heart ache and allow myself to see it as a failure on my behalf to do anything other than try to love someone... so ehh things don't work out but then again sometimes they do.
anyways i decided to go on a date! now while we had an amazing time, i'm not a hundred percent ready to jump into something. so at the end of the night when that awkward moment of do i kiss him or make a mad dash for the door arose, i decided neither would be helpful. this little voice in my head reminded me to take it slow. i mean this could be my next best friend or just a guy who i screwed it all up with. so i asked if he would settle for a hug. to my surprise he said yes! to my further surprise and extreme delight he then called the next day to say that not only did he have a great time but that he thought it was a perfect frist date... so score one for me... ten points for him LOL.
the point in all of this is the simple reminder to slow it down a bit. jumping into something you aren't ready for (especially when it involves someone else) is completely not fair to anyone involved. the best advice is to listen to that ittle voice of reason which more often than not will slow you down temporarily but in the long run will pay off for the good.
maybe had i remembered that slower is better i could have avoided that whole drunken weekend post. it just works for almost every situation. let it swish around in your head for a little bit and see if you don't agree. love to all you in blog land.
-ALLIE-
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Drunken Weekend
so once again drinking with my brother has gotten me in trouble. I'm starting to think maybe i should read my past blog entries to myself first thing in the morning and then again before i go out... This weekend my bro became a married man! I am so proud & happy for him and his new wife but i am now swearing off wine and certain people who i know.
Short version of the story- I ended up walking down the side of the road at midnite thirty miles from my house with no shoes and spent the rest of the weekend in jail because no-one could/would bail me out.
Insights-
1. choose your designated driver as you would your future wife- if you're picky about them chances are you won't be left on the side of the road.
2. friends and family are gonna let you down but someone will always be there to pick you up.
3. being alone is not bad as long as you can feel the sunshine every now and then.
4. jail food sucks & the beds are even worse- good excuses never to visit there.
5. don't take any second of freedom for granted.
6. life may suck but there's plenty of people who have it a hell off a lot worse than you do.
7. crying is good for the soul... so is punching pillows.
8. the people you surround urself with- say alot about you.
Use them how you will.
-Allie_
Short version of the story- I ended up walking down the side of the road at midnite thirty miles from my house with no shoes and spent the rest of the weekend in jail because no-one could/would bail me out.
Insights-
1. choose your designated driver as you would your future wife- if you're picky about them chances are you won't be left on the side of the road.
2. friends and family are gonna let you down but someone will always be there to pick you up.
3. being alone is not bad as long as you can feel the sunshine every now and then.
4. jail food sucks & the beds are even worse- good excuses never to visit there.
5. don't take any second of freedom for granted.
6. life may suck but there's plenty of people who have it a hell off a lot worse than you do.
7. crying is good for the soul... so is punching pillows.
8. the people you surround urself with- say alot about you.
Use them how you will.
-Allie_
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Happy Mother's Day
Momma-
For your special day I wanted to write you a poem to tell you exactly all the amazing things you've ever done that make me so happy to be your daughter... Unfortunately I'm not as good at it as you'd have me believe. How can i describe 23 years of unquestionable support and love, not to mention still tie in just how amazing you are in general? I can't...
Without you I would not exist. How trite must the words sound when i go on about when you taught me to talk, or walk, or anything... You gave me life woman! You showed me right from wrong, stood by me when there was no-one else, even protected me from myself a time or two. You have cleanned and kissed booboos, held me while i cried even when it was a stupid reason. You helped me decide who i wanted to be and i never wondered if you were proud of me or if you wished i had done differently. You let me be me more than anyone else I know and I know sometimes you wish there was more you could cram in my head, but from the earliest you showed me security, love, a pride that was not sinful, friendship. You've been with me through heart ache and physical pain and even the times it was both at once. I can only hope to one day be as good a mom for my kids as you are to me.
I may have taught you how to pout but you taught me how to smile and I hope today is full of smiles for you! Not only today but everyday I love you and am thankful god gave me an angel when I was supposed to get a mother! Happy Mother's Day Mom!
OMG!!! I almost forgot my favorite part of any holiday: PRESENTS!!! Aside from a home made dinner by yours truly you will be receiving a shopping trip to the store of your choice at the value of fifty dollars!!! And what does a shopping trip need other than two crazy chicas like us??? COUPONS OF COURSE!!!!
'My mommy loves me more than anybody! You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' -kids on love email-
For your special day I wanted to write you a poem to tell you exactly all the amazing things you've ever done that make me so happy to be your daughter... Unfortunately I'm not as good at it as you'd have me believe. How can i describe 23 years of unquestionable support and love, not to mention still tie in just how amazing you are in general? I can't...
Without you I would not exist. How trite must the words sound when i go on about when you taught me to talk, or walk, or anything... You gave me life woman! You showed me right from wrong, stood by me when there was no-one else, even protected me from myself a time or two. You have cleanned and kissed booboos, held me while i cried even when it was a stupid reason. You helped me decide who i wanted to be and i never wondered if you were proud of me or if you wished i had done differently. You let me be me more than anyone else I know and I know sometimes you wish there was more you could cram in my head, but from the earliest you showed me security, love, a pride that was not sinful, friendship. You've been with me through heart ache and physical pain and even the times it was both at once. I can only hope to one day be as good a mom for my kids as you are to me.
I may have taught you how to pout but you taught me how to smile and I hope today is full of smiles for you! Not only today but everyday I love you and am thankful god gave me an angel when I was supposed to get a mother! Happy Mother's Day Mom!
OMG!!! I almost forgot my favorite part of any holiday: PRESENTS!!! Aside from a home made dinner by yours truly you will be receiving a shopping trip to the store of your choice at the value of fifty dollars!!! And what does a shopping trip need other than two crazy chicas like us??? COUPONS OF COURSE!!!!
'My mommy loves me more than anybody! You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' -kids on love email-
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Two wrongs...
So thanks to recent events in my life, I am forced to make a decision of whether or not i truly want to be the bigger more enlightened being or if i should just throw a hissy fit. Now honestly there are moments, i want to throw in the towel and say "this is just too much" but I'm certain given a few days to calm down i won't still feel this way. Let me explain...
My beloved and I have started arguing... it started simply enough... I got a new job and became more preoccupied with other things. I didn't blow my boy off i just started spending more time sleeping or working, just being apart basically. In my heart i know this was good for us. I tell myself every time I'm dreading work that this just isn't me involved if i don't go. It affects quite a few people actually and aside from basically trying to be responsible to my financial life, I'm trying to uphold the commitment i made my manager when i told her i was reliable. Well this new job is not the problem- the problem is the amount of people i have to interact with in a day and how my boy feels threatened by it. My beloved has in not so kind words basically said that he is insecure because of all the new people and the fact that there is obviously someone better looking or with more money who would sweep my gorgeous wonderful self away.
The first few times I responded with the typical "baby you know you're the only one for me"- even listed a few of the wonderful qualities i see in him. This was a month ago. The semi-endearing "baby are you sure I'm enough?" has become straight out accusations. ((if you know me this is still a character defect i have to work on but it drives me nuts to be accused wrongly let alone accused at all)) So my patient loving nature runs out and the arguing starts.
Mainly because we both feel hurt and like we aren't being heard. Yup i do get it but it doesn't quite stop me from reacting from hurt. This is where i have failled my relationship. Not only have I hurt the man I loved by not responding with heart and reminding him just how crazy I am about him, I'm also hurting myself by not saying what I really feel. To add to the dismay of that revelation, I am also being hypocritical by asking for the one thing i am not giving- understanding.
In essence this guy who would stop the world if i ask him too is craving reassurance that imperfect as he is, he is truly perfect for me. He is begging to be shown love and here i am yelling at him that he doesn't get me and if would stop acting like this it would just fix everything... but am i understanding him by acting like this... obviously my actions would say that i don't get it, that i'm trying to be right. When in reality what i feel is, "cmon u know better why would i do that?" silly me i should just say that. It would be responsible to myself, respectful to my man and honest & helpful to the relationship.
After this latest argument which almost in singledom, I was more or less bombarded with the simple fact, i cannot change him but i CAN change me. In my heart of hearts i want to spend the rest of my life with this man... to me this means i have to be the mature enlightened one and remind myself where he's coming from. The only way to show I am not a cheater is simply to not cheat. The only way to make him stop asking/accusing me is to reassure the little guy inside him who is unsure. This is MY responsiblity to MY relationship. Either I can handle this or I can leave... Lucky for him I've decided I can handle this- lucky for me i honestly believe he's worth it...
Now this does not negate his responsiblity to our relationship(or my mental health) but if someone has to change, please let it be me. There are few simple truths in life that do not change no matter the circumstances... one is that two wrongs do not make a right... so instead of being wrong or right I'm gonna attempt just being me. It's easier that way and if for some reason this relationship isn't the end of all relationships as I feel it is, I can still tell myself at the end of the day I did what was best for the love of me as well as of my boy. Love is easy, relationships are occassionally work but by occasionally reminding ourselves we are responsible to ourselves as well as our partner, maybe it doesn't have to be hard work...
My beloved and I have started arguing... it started simply enough... I got a new job and became more preoccupied with other things. I didn't blow my boy off i just started spending more time sleeping or working, just being apart basically. In my heart i know this was good for us. I tell myself every time I'm dreading work that this just isn't me involved if i don't go. It affects quite a few people actually and aside from basically trying to be responsible to my financial life, I'm trying to uphold the commitment i made my manager when i told her i was reliable. Well this new job is not the problem- the problem is the amount of people i have to interact with in a day and how my boy feels threatened by it. My beloved has in not so kind words basically said that he is insecure because of all the new people and the fact that there is obviously someone better looking or with more money who would sweep my gorgeous wonderful self away.
The first few times I responded with the typical "baby you know you're the only one for me"- even listed a few of the wonderful qualities i see in him. This was a month ago. The semi-endearing "baby are you sure I'm enough?" has become straight out accusations. ((if you know me this is still a character defect i have to work on but it drives me nuts to be accused wrongly let alone accused at all)) So my patient loving nature runs out and the arguing starts.
Mainly because we both feel hurt and like we aren't being heard. Yup i do get it but it doesn't quite stop me from reacting from hurt. This is where i have failled my relationship. Not only have I hurt the man I loved by not responding with heart and reminding him just how crazy I am about him, I'm also hurting myself by not saying what I really feel. To add to the dismay of that revelation, I am also being hypocritical by asking for the one thing i am not giving- understanding.
In essence this guy who would stop the world if i ask him too is craving reassurance that imperfect as he is, he is truly perfect for me. He is begging to be shown love and here i am yelling at him that he doesn't get me and if would stop acting like this it would just fix everything... but am i understanding him by acting like this... obviously my actions would say that i don't get it, that i'm trying to be right. When in reality what i feel is, "cmon u know better why would i do that?" silly me i should just say that. It would be responsible to myself, respectful to my man and honest & helpful to the relationship.
After this latest argument which almost in singledom, I was more or less bombarded with the simple fact, i cannot change him but i CAN change me. In my heart of hearts i want to spend the rest of my life with this man... to me this means i have to be the mature enlightened one and remind myself where he's coming from. The only way to show I am not a cheater is simply to not cheat. The only way to make him stop asking/accusing me is to reassure the little guy inside him who is unsure. This is MY responsiblity to MY relationship. Either I can handle this or I can leave... Lucky for him I've decided I can handle this- lucky for me i honestly believe he's worth it...
Now this does not negate his responsiblity to our relationship(or my mental health) but if someone has to change, please let it be me. There are few simple truths in life that do not change no matter the circumstances... one is that two wrongs do not make a right... so instead of being wrong or right I'm gonna attempt just being me. It's easier that way and if for some reason this relationship isn't the end of all relationships as I feel it is, I can still tell myself at the end of the day I did what was best for the love of me as well as of my boy. Love is easy, relationships are occassionally work but by occasionally reminding ourselves we are responsible to ourselves as well as our partner, maybe it doesn't have to be hard work...
Monday, April 14, 2008
Mike
So as we all know by now, my mother is a major networker. The other day she is hopping through some blogs & notices that Mike has linked to me. Yay! Woohoo! Go me- someone other than my mother and close friend, enjoys what i put on here :) Then double whammie- next to my link it says "it's a good site trust me". One wow! an endorsement. He honestly reads this stuff and further more he likes it. Two ((also known as the moment of doubt)) was he saying this just because I put a content advisor on my blog? So i'm gonna go with one, okay maybe a bit of both and a desperate feeling to confess a bit.
See to my knowledge, my blog has never been reported. I've also never claimed to be child friendly although i do try hard not to demean the message I'm trying to share by using ignorant language. Basically, I put the blocker on. I talk about things here that come from my real life. Sometimes I use to much honesty in the process and hey I'm really not trying to offend anyone here. I'm just trying to work through the things that affect me and maybe share a new perspective with the world as they come to me.
At first the joy of the link was unimaginable, then in slinks fear. Maybe someone will find out i'm not the enlightened sweet thing i pretend to be here... then i realize, I don't need to explain this blog to you all nor am i being anything but me. You can be brave enough to read it after the content advisory or not and miss out on the little tidbits I try to share. So i'm back to being completely exstatic that some stranger decided to give me some linky love.
Mike- Thanks sincerely from my heart. Without this moment I may have never realized why I love this blog so much. I only wish I could give you more than a link and my occasional (not to mention random) blog visits in return...
All that being said- please visit Mike's Blog. Hugs and Love to all in blog land-
See to my knowledge, my blog has never been reported. I've also never claimed to be child friendly although i do try hard not to demean the message I'm trying to share by using ignorant language. Basically, I put the blocker on. I talk about things here that come from my real life. Sometimes I use to much honesty in the process and hey I'm really not trying to offend anyone here. I'm just trying to work through the things that affect me and maybe share a new perspective with the world as they come to me.
At first the joy of the link was unimaginable, then in slinks fear. Maybe someone will find out i'm not the enlightened sweet thing i pretend to be here... then i realize, I don't need to explain this blog to you all nor am i being anything but me. You can be brave enough to read it after the content advisory or not and miss out on the little tidbits I try to share. So i'm back to being completely exstatic that some stranger decided to give me some linky love.
Mike- Thanks sincerely from my heart. Without this moment I may have never realized why I love this blog so much. I only wish I could give you more than a link and my occasional (not to mention random) blog visits in return...
All that being said- please visit Mike's Blog. Hugs and Love to all in blog land-
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Award
"Today, I present her with this small token of my appreciation for her being not only my daughter but my best friend, for humoring me even when she knows I have slipped off the edge, for continuing to pat me on the back and wipe away my tears and still respecting me like I birthed her." 
-my mom *blushes* isn't she amazing?? I have no idea how to respond to this right this second except for awwwwwwwwww and i love you too crazy lady. Didn't I sing this song to you one year???
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Benefit of Religion
So I have a feeling this is one of those posts I might get into trouble for... That being said, I still feel the need to share this...
My mother is the type of woman who reminds me that we need fulfilment in our daily lives. She is always doing something to make the most out of her clear moments. Truly an inspiration to me even on the days I feel she is a pain in my ass. She is a kind woman, an i don't care what they think woman, an all around blast to be around. However as amazing as she is, she is also the kind of woman who just can't seem to pick the right guy. Several of her past relationships seem to end in this amazing sense of emptyness and it's obvious she needs something to sooth this part of her that calls out love me.
This morning after several days of depression (sorry to put your business out there but this is vital to my point momma) this woman blares some praise and worship. She is slightly less agitated than I've seen her. Truly healling music.
A couple different songs in particular had several lines that keyed me into this starling revelation I may have been ignoring previously. My mother believes in a religion where God is a loving creature with this amazing power to heal these pains in her heart. "How amazing is your love?" The power to fulfill her need to be loved unfaillingly. ""
These songs were singing not only to this amazing being but the part in her that needed to believe in this being. Now I am not particularly religious but I do believe in God. These "theories" as they are labeled by people who are not religious or spiritual are simply amazing paths to feeling more at peace. What does it matter what name you give this being? If we saw religion as the benefitial thing it is, could we condemn any religion that starts the belief in something outside of yourself, a deeper sense of oneness with the universe at large? How can that be bad? I saw the benefits of this today.
Now understand i'm not talking about any religion that calls on sacrificing children or killing ones self but I just can't for the life of me see why we can't just view religion as something slightly simpler and good. even if it isn't our exact view point...
My mother is the type of woman who reminds me that we need fulfilment in our daily lives. She is always doing something to make the most out of her clear moments. Truly an inspiration to me even on the days I feel she is a pain in my ass. She is a kind woman, an i don't care what they think woman, an all around blast to be around. However as amazing as she is, she is also the kind of woman who just can't seem to pick the right guy. Several of her past relationships seem to end in this amazing sense of emptyness and it's obvious she needs something to sooth this part of her that calls out love me.
This morning after several days of depression (sorry to put your business out there but this is vital to my point momma) this woman blares some praise and worship. She is slightly less agitated than I've seen her. Truly healling music.
A couple different songs in particular had several lines that keyed me into this starling revelation I may have been ignoring previously. My mother believes in a religion where God is a loving creature with this amazing power to heal these pains in her heart. "How amazing is your love?" The power to fulfill her need to be loved unfaillingly. ""
These songs were singing not only to this amazing being but the part in her that needed to believe in this being. Now I am not particularly religious but I do believe in God. These "theories" as they are labeled by people who are not religious or spiritual are simply amazing paths to feeling more at peace. What does it matter what name you give this being? If we saw religion as the benefitial thing it is, could we condemn any religion that starts the belief in something outside of yourself, a deeper sense of oneness with the universe at large? How can that be bad? I saw the benefits of this today.
Now understand i'm not talking about any religion that calls on sacrificing children or killing ones self but I just can't for the life of me see why we can't just view religion as something slightly simpler and good. even if it isn't our exact view point...
Friday, April 4, 2008
Right versus Wrong
Some people wonder how to tell if what they are doing is right? Now there are others who question how someone could have such conflicting morals... To clear the air here are my suggestions...
How do i know if what I'm doing is wrong? Well... you're lying about it. 'Nough said.
How do i know if what I'm doing is wrong? Well... you're lying about it. 'Nough said.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Saying No...
So my younger brother returns home on leave. He's staying at his fiances but every day he calls up and asks "so ya wanna get drunk?" Now, this poor boy has no other way to chill out. His entire daily schedule has been turned upside down and then he's been loosed on society. It's horrible really but hey if my bro wants to kick it I'm there. Or so I thought 6 days ago. At this point I'm sick of drinking, of comments about drunken behavior and if I never see a bottle of Budweiser it will be all too soon.
This brings me to the point of this post... The ability to say "NO". Now you would think such a quiet laid back girl like myself(a little sarcasm for those who missed it) would never think of such a thing. I'm typically a let's go with the flow type of girl but this has gotten to be a little much. Sometimes you just have to say no.
Aside from not wanting to become an alcoholic, this is just not healthy behavior in general. This is one of those times when maybe no is actually better than yes. Now i hate to let down my brother, which isn't that how I ended up in this mess to begin with? And don't lie and say you've never gone along with something because you didn't want to disappoint someone. We compromise ourselves sometimes to please people- it's part of being human. But isn't part of being an enlightened being, being honest to who you are at all times??? As I'm thinking about this it just reassures that no is not always a bad thing. Below I've made a small list of when and why it's okay to say no. Feel free to add by posting a comment...
It's okay to say "NO" when:
1. what is being asked of you will later be a regret (i.e. drinking six days in a row)
2. saying yes will end up in someone being hurt- whether yourself or someone else (i.e. an affair, drug use, etc)
3. you want to (i.e. going out on a night when u have to work in the morning, or spending time with someone you don't like)
There's millions more reasons I'm sure. The point is that it's okay to stand up for yourself. People will respect you the more you respect yourself. So even if you have to stand in front of the mirror and practice it a million times till it doesn't sound funny on your tongue, the gift has now been passed to you. There is power in saying no, it's up to you to use it...
This brings me to the point of this post... The ability to say "NO". Now you would think such a quiet laid back girl like myself(a little sarcasm for those who missed it) would never think of such a thing. I'm typically a let's go with the flow type of girl but this has gotten to be a little much. Sometimes you just have to say no.
Aside from not wanting to become an alcoholic, this is just not healthy behavior in general. This is one of those times when maybe no is actually better than yes. Now i hate to let down my brother, which isn't that how I ended up in this mess to begin with? And don't lie and say you've never gone along with something because you didn't want to disappoint someone. We compromise ourselves sometimes to please people- it's part of being human. But isn't part of being an enlightened being, being honest to who you are at all times??? As I'm thinking about this it just reassures that no is not always a bad thing. Below I've made a small list of when and why it's okay to say no. Feel free to add by posting a comment...
It's okay to say "NO" when:
1. what is being asked of you will later be a regret (i.e. drinking six days in a row)
2. saying yes will end up in someone being hurt- whether yourself or someone else (i.e. an affair, drug use, etc)
3. you want to (i.e. going out on a night when u have to work in the morning, or spending time with someone you don't like)
There's millions more reasons I'm sure. The point is that it's okay to stand up for yourself. People will respect you the more you respect yourself. So even if you have to stand in front of the mirror and practice it a million times till it doesn't sound funny on your tongue, the gift has now been passed to you. There is power in saying no, it's up to you to use it...
Monday, March 10, 2008
Guilt Free Blogging
Leave it to me to join a revolution and have a spiritual insight at the same time...
About the revolution:
K- I am so into this because up until today I think there were honestly 8 posts on this blog. This is about blogging care free without a set schedule everyday. I've never been one to post daily and while sometimes I wish I could post more, I just haven't been in a writing mood. Well, someone out there gets me because they started a revolution... There's so much logic behind this, it's rediculous. Click on the button above to find out more.
My Insight:
So this has got me thinking about how much guilt and extra responsibility we put on ourselves when it comes to the net. As I've never been much for blogging on the regular, I'm gonna have to look to tagging for my example in this. This last weekend I participated in a tag war. I started fretting over all these taggies I HAD to get out. People like my tags- it makes me feel good but are you serious? I had 12 offers up and ended up with about 120 names a piece I needed to tag (add names to the blank). You do the math cause I ended up with way too many to get done in a day or two.
Now, I am the first person to say hey I haven't forgotten u or i'm behind but this is the internet. I have a real life in which I have things to do. You know run a sweeper, look for a job, SLEEP etc... So I took a deep breath & stopped feeling guilty that I wasn't going to be done quickly. As I see it, you can wait a day or two for your free gift because while I feel like it's a good thing to bless you- I'm not going to have guilt over not doing it faster.
We as people put too much weight in the joys of others. This is certainly very easy to do, especially over the net. My yahoo groups bring me great joy but I doubt very seriously that the second I send an email someone reads it. These people are my friends- we have an amazing back and forth but I cannot have added guilt because I am only available to them when I am online. That's life! The only people who get more attention than my comp are my family and my lover. And bless their hearts but they let me have my computer addiction without complaint.
I create tags for me, I blog for me. You may not like my style or taste but one day something I say or make is gonna click with you. Just like the same goes for my taste towards your creations. Why should you feel guilty about not pleasing every person, when we create to please ourselves? Just something to think about....
About the revolution:
K- I am so into this because up until today I think there were honestly 8 posts on this blog. This is about blogging care free without a set schedule everyday. I've never been one to post daily and while sometimes I wish I could post more, I just haven't been in a writing mood. Well, someone out there gets me because they started a revolution... There's so much logic behind this, it's rediculous. Click on the button above to find out more.
My Insight:
So this has got me thinking about how much guilt and extra responsibility we put on ourselves when it comes to the net. As I've never been much for blogging on the regular, I'm gonna have to look to tagging for my example in this. This last weekend I participated in a tag war. I started fretting over all these taggies I HAD to get out. People like my tags- it makes me feel good but are you serious? I had 12 offers up and ended up with about 120 names a piece I needed to tag (add names to the blank). You do the math cause I ended up with way too many to get done in a day or two.
Now, I am the first person to say hey I haven't forgotten u or i'm behind but this is the internet. I have a real life in which I have things to do. You know run a sweeper, look for a job, SLEEP etc... So I took a deep breath & stopped feeling guilty that I wasn't going to be done quickly. As I see it, you can wait a day or two for your free gift because while I feel like it's a good thing to bless you- I'm not going to have guilt over not doing it faster.
We as people put too much weight in the joys of others. This is certainly very easy to do, especially over the net. My yahoo groups bring me great joy but I doubt very seriously that the second I send an email someone reads it. These people are my friends- we have an amazing back and forth but I cannot have added guilt because I am only available to them when I am online. That's life! The only people who get more attention than my comp are my family and my lover. And bless their hearts but they let me have my computer addiction without complaint.
I create tags for me, I blog for me. You may not like my style or taste but one day something I say or make is gonna click with you. Just like the same goes for my taste towards your creations. Why should you feel guilty about not pleasing every person, when we create to please ourselves? Just something to think about....
Happy Bday Mom!
Happy Birthday Momma!
You may be getting older but you're also getting prettier! Hope your day is full of happiness!
^^tag made using alpha set I created specially for my momma.^^ notice the i love you in the corner? it even says happy bday :)
***Mom's having a Birthday Give Away!***
***Check it out by clicking on the image below!***
Act quickly! This Give-A-Way ends at 9:00 a.m. EST on Tuesday, March 11, 2008.
You may be getting older but you're also getting prettier! Hope your day is full of happiness!
^^tag made using alpha set I created specially for my momma.^^ notice the i love you in the corner? it even says happy bday :)
***Mom's having a Birthday Give Away!***
***Check it out by clicking on the image below!***
Act quickly! This Give-A-Way ends at 9:00 a.m. EST on Tuesday, March 11, 2008.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Common Sense
It seems to me that common sense is becoming a thing of the past. We live in a society where we have to make sure everything is "pc" and triple labeled so that the idiots of our country can't sue the makers of items. News Flash: cigarettes cause cancer, wearing black at night makes you more likely to be hit by a car, and anything "fresh out the oven" is hot.
Please, don't think I'm being all righteous here. The name of the blog IS forgotten revelations. I have been duh-ing myself all week about little common sense things. The big one this week- dishes. Don't laugh at me too long for this one...
Now, anyone who knows me will tell you I absolutely hate doing dishes. I'll scrub the bathroom fifteen times before I'll be excited about cleaning a single fork. Silverware are the worst! But despite my dislike for said chore, occassionally it falls on me to clean up the kitchen. So a couple of days ago I walk into the kitchen to grab a quick bite and there is no clean silverware. I start the mumbling and then this wave of common sense hits me. While I did wash the dishes the night before, why would there be clean silverware if I didn't wash it? Aren't silverware part of the dishes?? All of a sudden I realized I wasn't upset about the fact that my brother doesn't do the dishes- I was upset that I had skipped a step and lost common sense for a moment. So I was mumbling at myself! LOL
And that is why I love this blog... It's helping me notice things like momentary lapses in common sense. And honestly isn't that all these post have been about? Something seemingly so small and duh-ish but bam it hits me like a mac truck at the randomist of moments. May you have a little more common sense and remember to wash the silverware with the rest of the dishes!
You can read the email that started this rant here.
Please, don't think I'm being all righteous here. The name of the blog IS forgotten revelations. I have been duh-ing myself all week about little common sense things. The big one this week- dishes. Don't laugh at me too long for this one...
Now, anyone who knows me will tell you I absolutely hate doing dishes. I'll scrub the bathroom fifteen times before I'll be excited about cleaning a single fork. Silverware are the worst! But despite my dislike for said chore, occassionally it falls on me to clean up the kitchen. So a couple of days ago I walk into the kitchen to grab a quick bite and there is no clean silverware. I start the mumbling and then this wave of common sense hits me. While I did wash the dishes the night before, why would there be clean silverware if I didn't wash it? Aren't silverware part of the dishes?? All of a sudden I realized I wasn't upset about the fact that my brother doesn't do the dishes- I was upset that I had skipped a step and lost common sense for a moment. So I was mumbling at myself! LOL
And that is why I love this blog... It's helping me notice things like momentary lapses in common sense. And honestly isn't that all these post have been about? Something seemingly so small and duh-ish but bam it hits me like a mac truck at the randomist of moments. May you have a little more common sense and remember to wash the silverware with the rest of the dishes!
You can read the email that started this rant here.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Healling Found in Music
My mother has recently become addicted to a great song. It's called "No Air" by Jordan Sparks and Chris Brown. Now I absolutely love this song but she has been on a repeat phase and I swear I've heard it about 5 million times in the last week alone. It started to aggrivate me and then I remembered Ryan Cabrera "fall" I used to put this song on repeat and just zone out for hours. It soothed the part of me that wanted to cry.
This reminded me that music is a great form of expression as well as healling relaxation. By listening to music we are able to transport ourselves to another moment in time when everything was perfect. That dance with Bobby Joe that we wished could last forever is just one of those reasons we turn up a song we haven't heard in a long time.
Watching my mom sigh and sing along every time it started back up, I felt heart broken. How can she enjoy this torture she was bring on herself. Then I realized just how much healling it was doing for her. This was her version of "fall". She started telling stories about the guy who made her sigh when she haerd the words to "no air". This was great for me because it was my own father, who I know so little about and here she was dishing all the goofy stuff from days long past. Everytime, I've heard the sing since then I just turn it up and sing along with her.
My challenge for you today is to find a song that speaks to you mind body and soul. Put it on repeat until you can't handle it anymore. Then post a comment in response to this post. I bet you're feeling more uplifted or calmer than you were before you heard it. I bet you had a trip down memory lane back to the first time you heard this song. It doesn't matter- just let me know I'm not wrong in this theory! Hugs to all~
This reminded me that music is a great form of expression as well as healling relaxation. By listening to music we are able to transport ourselves to another moment in time when everything was perfect. That dance with Bobby Joe that we wished could last forever is just one of those reasons we turn up a song we haven't heard in a long time.
Watching my mom sigh and sing along every time it started back up, I felt heart broken. How can she enjoy this torture she was bring on herself. Then I realized just how much healling it was doing for her. This was her version of "fall". She started telling stories about the guy who made her sigh when she haerd the words to "no air". This was great for me because it was my own father, who I know so little about and here she was dishing all the goofy stuff from days long past. Everytime, I've heard the sing since then I just turn it up and sing along with her.
My challenge for you today is to find a song that speaks to you mind body and soul. Put it on repeat until you can't handle it anymore. Then post a comment in response to this post. I bet you're feeling more uplifted or calmer than you were before you heard it. I bet you had a trip down memory lane back to the first time you heard this song. It doesn't matter- just let me know I'm not wrong in this theory! Hugs to all~
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Like God
"Treat everyone you meet like God in disguise." Rev Run
This quote instantly made me think of "what if God was one of us". This just brings to light the idea of treating people how you want to be treated. Another good example is "Beauty and the Beast" where he gets transformed by the witch for treating her poorly. Back to the original quote though...
If "God"(or whatever you call the universal powers that be) is this being we ultimately respect and love, then treating strangers that way can't end too badly. What about the people we are around every day though? In my life there are several people I just cannot stand to be around. Their gaping wounds just too big for my love to heal or my patience to tolerate. And yet every few days, there they are in my living room chatting away. I've tried not talking, I've even left a few times but still these people return.
So I'm instituting "Like God". This is basically an upgrade on seeing everyone as a mirror. With this proccess, you show respect and act as much through love as is possible because the goal is to treat and see people as if they are "God" in disguise. I challenge you to try it for a few days and see how it changes your life. The basic principle is to treat others better than you want to be treated.
Wish me luck!!!
This quote instantly made me think of "what if God was one of us". This just brings to light the idea of treating people how you want to be treated. Another good example is "Beauty and the Beast" where he gets transformed by the witch for treating her poorly. Back to the original quote though...
If "God"(or whatever you call the universal powers that be) is this being we ultimately respect and love, then treating strangers that way can't end too badly. What about the people we are around every day though? In my life there are several people I just cannot stand to be around. Their gaping wounds just too big for my love to heal or my patience to tolerate. And yet every few days, there they are in my living room chatting away. I've tried not talking, I've even left a few times but still these people return.
So I'm instituting "Like God". This is basically an upgrade on seeing everyone as a mirror. With this proccess, you show respect and act as much through love as is possible because the goal is to treat and see people as if they are "God" in disguise. I challenge you to try it for a few days and see how it changes your life. The basic principle is to treat others better than you want to be treated.
Wish me luck!!!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Puppies
--part 3 of responses to sage advice--
"All men are NOT dogs."
With the amazing number of jerks out there, this is a revelation I feel women need reminded of from time to time. As not all women are the same, all men aren't either. I have recently been reminded this.
One man in particular has made me wonder frequently in the past couple of weeks if the above statement can be even close to true. Every time I turn around there is a sexual innuendo or an offer for a favor with high prices on the pay back. To top it off- it's not just him I've had to deal with. Several "friends" are way to excited about my being single and have started "sniffing" around the perimeter and hinting that perhaps friendship is not the only thing on their minds anymore. And while I am sad some of these friendships are coming to an end because of this, I have to be thankful that not all men are the same.
Over the last few weeks, I have been blessed to spend time with a wondeful man. An ex of mine and I have started talking again and while it's obvious that we both might want more out of this, he has been a perfect gentleman. We watch movies and have long conversations about everything or nothing and time just flies. When I know I am going to see him- I get excited. I change into just the right outfit and then back into pj bottoms & a t-shirt lol. I have things I just can't wait to tell him- in short, I just might be falling in love with him all over again. And while it's fun and exciting that's not the point of this post.
The point is that everyone is different. Just because you have been hurt by men doesn't mean there isn't one out there who won't recognize you for the amazing woman you are. Not all gorgeous, hard working, intellegent men are gay or married! They do exist somewhere in the world and unfortunately you haven't met the right one yet. By focussing on the negative aspects of a few, you ruin it for the whole and also for yourself. In life, it is important to take things one day at a time. Greet each situation as if it's the first time you've approached it. Same for people! Yes, there are men who are dogs, and there are women who are Uber Bi-otches. But this is not every single one of them.
You've officially been reminded! Now hug yourself for me and go find an excuse to laugh...
"All men are NOT dogs."
With the amazing number of jerks out there, this is a revelation I feel women need reminded of from time to time. As not all women are the same, all men aren't either. I have recently been reminded this.
One man in particular has made me wonder frequently in the past couple of weeks if the above statement can be even close to true. Every time I turn around there is a sexual innuendo or an offer for a favor with high prices on the pay back. To top it off- it's not just him I've had to deal with. Several "friends" are way to excited about my being single and have started "sniffing" around the perimeter and hinting that perhaps friendship is not the only thing on their minds anymore. And while I am sad some of these friendships are coming to an end because of this, I have to be thankful that not all men are the same.
Over the last few weeks, I have been blessed to spend time with a wondeful man. An ex of mine and I have started talking again and while it's obvious that we both might want more out of this, he has been a perfect gentleman. We watch movies and have long conversations about everything or nothing and time just flies. When I know I am going to see him- I get excited. I change into just the right outfit and then back into pj bottoms & a t-shirt lol. I have things I just can't wait to tell him- in short, I just might be falling in love with him all over again. And while it's fun and exciting that's not the point of this post.
The point is that everyone is different. Just because you have been hurt by men doesn't mean there isn't one out there who won't recognize you for the amazing woman you are. Not all gorgeous, hard working, intellegent men are gay or married! They do exist somewhere in the world and unfortunately you haven't met the right one yet. By focussing on the negative aspects of a few, you ruin it for the whole and also for yourself. In life, it is important to take things one day at a time. Greet each situation as if it's the first time you've approached it. Same for people! Yes, there are men who are dogs, and there are women who are Uber Bi-otches. But this is not every single one of them.
You've officially been reminded! Now hug yourself for me and go find an excuse to laugh...
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Isn't he Grown?
--part 2 of responses to sage advice--
"Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior."
This one is for you, sis. I love you reguardless... My sister's boyfriend and I do not get along. Mainly because I feel like he is underhanded, childish, and irresponsible most of his good days. (I know... what happened to judge not lest ye be judged? but it gets better...) He thinks I am some useless whore and not worthy of spitting on if i'm on fire. That being said, my sister is a nut behind him and feels the need to explain his actions to me. This quote made me immediately think of them.
There have been several instances where my sister has come to me upset over the fact that me and her boo simply cannot and will not get along. I told her to get a new guy and we'd get along fine but ehh... not what she has in mind. She sits me down at least once a month and says "well he's going through this" or "he didn't mean it like that". And while that is all fine and good, shouldn't he be the one explaining it? Where is his responsibility in this scenario? On her shoulders where it shouldn't be. I am so fed up with her excuses for his behavior. I'm supposed to respect this grown man who can't even talk to me when he acts an ass? Is that a dummy question? Cause I for one think it's not him at all. I think she feels bad for how he acts and for whatever reason is deciding to stand by him. This added responsibility on her though is a stress in their relationship that I hope does not blow up in her face.
Ladies, what happened to looking for a man people in your life could respect? Where has the desire for an equal partnership gone?
I understand wanting children but this a grown man and it's not your job to right his wrongs. His childish behavior is on him. I'd believe he was appologetic if HE apologized. There's no need for excuses when a man should be able to take responsibility for his own actions.
Just stop it please! No more excuses- make them take on their own responsibilities!
"Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior."
This one is for you, sis. I love you reguardless... My sister's boyfriend and I do not get along. Mainly because I feel like he is underhanded, childish, and irresponsible most of his good days. (I know... what happened to judge not lest ye be judged? but it gets better...) He thinks I am some useless whore and not worthy of spitting on if i'm on fire. That being said, my sister is a nut behind him and feels the need to explain his actions to me. This quote made me immediately think of them.
There have been several instances where my sister has come to me upset over the fact that me and her boo simply cannot and will not get along. I told her to get a new guy and we'd get along fine but ehh... not what she has in mind. She sits me down at least once a month and says "well he's going through this" or "he didn't mean it like that". And while that is all fine and good, shouldn't he be the one explaining it? Where is his responsibility in this scenario? On her shoulders where it shouldn't be. I am so fed up with her excuses for his behavior. I'm supposed to respect this grown man who can't even talk to me when he acts an ass? Is that a dummy question? Cause I for one think it's not him at all. I think she feels bad for how he acts and for whatever reason is deciding to stand by him. This added responsibility on her though is a stress in their relationship that I hope does not blow up in her face.
Ladies, what happened to looking for a man people in your life could respect? Where has the desire for an equal partnership gone?
I understand wanting children but this a grown man and it's not your job to right his wrongs. His childish behavior is on him. I'd believe he was appologetic if HE apologized. There's no need for excuses when a man should be able to take responsibility for his own actions.
Just stop it please! No more excuses- make them take on their own responsibilities!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Awarded! Blogging with Purpose
Gotta love my mom! She is so sweet and has awarded this blog :)
my first award ever:
Blogging With Purpose Award Rules:
1. Awarded parties must nominate five people who have not received the award.
2. The blogs that receive the award must serve some purpose.
3. In their post about the award they need to link back to this entry.
4. Awarded parties must post the award banner on their site. The banner must remain linked to the above linked site.
My nominees: NONE- post a response to this post with your link so that I can check it out. I don't blog surf like most people. I'm dedicated only to mom's and this one lol so help me out by letting me check out your blog! Even if you're not selected- it's a free shameless plug to your blog ;)
Mom's Blog
Blogging With Purpose Award Rules:
1. Awarded parties must nominate five people who have not received the award.
2. The blogs that receive the award must serve some purpose.
3. In their post about the award they need to link back to this entry.
4. Awarded parties must post the award banner on their site. The banner must remain linked to the above linked site.
My nominees: NONE- post a response to this post with your link so that I can check it out. I don't blog surf like most people. I'm dedicated only to mom's and this one lol so help me out by letting me check out your blog! Even if you're not selected- it's a free shameless plug to your blog ;)
Mom's Blog
Futility in Honesty
--part 1 of responses to sage advice--
"Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later."
This comment inspires so many feelings that I wonder where to begin. Lately I am having to deal with the futility in honesty. Yup! the complete and utter uselessness of being honest all the time. Now, while the above statement was probably made by a jaded woman, it does apply to all people both men and women.
The revelation from this quote? When we know of something true and bad in someone's past, we will throw it in their faces to defend our "correctness" in a situation. ie. My own sister saying I am an act or shady, when in fact I am bluntly honest and while yes I have made several mistakes in my life have never been malicious to anyone on purpose(least of all her). Now, even understanding that these were words spit out in anger, I wonder if maybe had I not been so honest, she would have had a leg to stand on? Answer- NO! She would not have had a single moment in our history to say I acted in anyway less than honorable especially considering most of these "facts" come from things I myself have told her in confidence.
Before I go on, please understand that I am not saying to lie! When asked a straight forward question you should always be honest. Honesty is after all a virtue. However, there are some things to consider in defining if the honesty is futile...
1. Who are you being honest with? If it's anyone other than yourself, your partner, or your parent- stop giving so many details that you'll hang yourself with later.
2. Why do you feel the need to share this information? If you're telling old stories about glory days, fine just be careful who you're telling these things to. If you're confessing- best save it for a preist who can't recognize you in church next Sunday.
3. What is gained by this honesty? If it's a moment of good honest communication, congrats to you. If you are using facts to hurt someone- you're not being honest, you're being cruel. If you are clearing your conscience (as sometimes must be done to keep relationships etc...) try to speak from the heart with sincere regret and disbelief that you could have ever done such a thing.
When and where play a role into it but this is only depending on the type of people you associate with. Honesty can build or destroy trust. Trust however is something that must be earned and is at the base of that crazy little thing we call LOVE. You cannot trust someone who is not honest with you. But is it neccesarry to share every single detail? Discretion is key in avoiding so many problems in life. If you can't be good- at least be good at being bad and keep it private. Secrects can destroy people but by being too honest people still get hurt.
Doesn't that last paragraph just scream to your naughty side... *ooh she tolds us how to get away with it* ?? This is heart breaking if you have answered yes. My whole point in the "futility of honesty" is that at the end of this is that honest people are persecutted and punished. None of us are perfect! We are allowed mistakes- it's called life people and just like the board game things happen and people change depending on situations they encounter...
My prayer for 2008 is that honesty is no longer futile. That people can reach inside themselves and find a small bit of heart to respond to the truth without anger or pride despite what other feelings it may bring. And that by knowing everything, we cherish that which is in front of us even more.
"Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later."
This comment inspires so many feelings that I wonder where to begin. Lately I am having to deal with the futility in honesty. Yup! the complete and utter uselessness of being honest all the time. Now, while the above statement was probably made by a jaded woman, it does apply to all people both men and women.
The revelation from this quote? When we know of something true and bad in someone's past, we will throw it in their faces to defend our "correctness" in a situation. ie. My own sister saying I am an act or shady, when in fact I am bluntly honest and while yes I have made several mistakes in my life have never been malicious to anyone on purpose(least of all her). Now, even understanding that these were words spit out in anger, I wonder if maybe had I not been so honest, she would have had a leg to stand on? Answer- NO! She would not have had a single moment in our history to say I acted in anyway less than honorable especially considering most of these "facts" come from things I myself have told her in confidence.
Before I go on, please understand that I am not saying to lie! When asked a straight forward question you should always be honest. Honesty is after all a virtue. However, there are some things to consider in defining if the honesty is futile...
1. Who are you being honest with? If it's anyone other than yourself, your partner, or your parent- stop giving so many details that you'll hang yourself with later.
2. Why do you feel the need to share this information? If you're telling old stories about glory days, fine just be careful who you're telling these things to. If you're confessing- best save it for a preist who can't recognize you in church next Sunday.
3. What is gained by this honesty? If it's a moment of good honest communication, congrats to you. If you are using facts to hurt someone- you're not being honest, you're being cruel. If you are clearing your conscience (as sometimes must be done to keep relationships etc...) try to speak from the heart with sincere regret and disbelief that you could have ever done such a thing.
When and where play a role into it but this is only depending on the type of people you associate with. Honesty can build or destroy trust. Trust however is something that must be earned and is at the base of that crazy little thing we call LOVE. You cannot trust someone who is not honest with you. But is it neccesarry to share every single detail? Discretion is key in avoiding so many problems in life. If you can't be good- at least be good at being bad and keep it private. Secrects can destroy people but by being too honest people still get hurt.
Doesn't that last paragraph just scream to your naughty side... *ooh she tolds us how to get away with it* ?? This is heart breaking if you have answered yes. My whole point in the "futility of honesty" is that at the end of this is that honest people are persecutted and punished. None of us are perfect! We are allowed mistakes- it's called life people and just like the board game things happen and people change depending on situations they encounter...
My prayer for 2008 is that honesty is no longer futile. That people can reach inside themselves and find a small bit of heart to respond to the truth without anger or pride despite what other feelings it may bring. And that by knowing everything, we cherish that which is in front of us even more.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Being Thankful
I read somewhere once that "Thank You is the only prayer you need".
Today, as well as many others I have to push myself to find things to be thankful for. I mean thankfully enough I am not hurting today, have no huge engagements I have to prepare for or stress about, and well honestly I'm still in my pj's so something has got to be going right! LOL.. But how do you look inside on the bad days and find something to be honestly grateful about?
I can't tell you the answer to that because I look outside of myself on such days. Today for example, I have been reminded that someone does love me. (I cheated & checked my old text messages lol) Between online friends like, Lesley, and real life friends, like my mom- there's always someone I can reach out to. And even when they are not readily available, I can blog or email with the knowledge that when they see my meesage they will respond. When the weather is rainy and my knees hurt because of it, I am thankful for the excuse to take it easy that day. When something hasn't worked out as planned, I force myself to remember that it did at least work part way. My mom posts at least once a week a list of things she is grateful for. I am amazed how it varies or what even inspires it and yet she does it to remind herself that on days like these there is still enough good in the world to smile about.
The fact that your heart is beating is reason to be thankful. And I just rememberred that! May you find a reason to be thankful!!!
Today, as well as many others I have to push myself to find things to be thankful for. I mean thankfully enough I am not hurting today, have no huge engagements I have to prepare for or stress about, and well honestly I'm still in my pj's so something has got to be going right! LOL.. But how do you look inside on the bad days and find something to be honestly grateful about?
I can't tell you the answer to that because I look outside of myself on such days. Today for example, I have been reminded that someone does love me. (I cheated & checked my old text messages lol) Between online friends like, Lesley, and real life friends, like my mom- there's always someone I can reach out to. And even when they are not readily available, I can blog or email with the knowledge that when they see my meesage they will respond. When the weather is rainy and my knees hurt because of it, I am thankful for the excuse to take it easy that day. When something hasn't worked out as planned, I force myself to remember that it did at least work part way. My mom posts at least once a week a list of things she is grateful for. I am amazed how it varies or what even inspires it and yet she does it to remind herself that on days like these there is still enough good in the world to smile about.
The fact that your heart is beating is reason to be thankful. And I just rememberred that! May you find a reason to be thankful!!!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Acceptance vs. Understanding
So as I sit here, slightly angry at my sister, tranisitioning into a mood of cool acceptance, I feel the very serious need to cry out to someone anyone who can and will hear me. In the past few weeks I am being constantly reminded that I for one cannot live another person's life, nor should I judge their's. After a fight with my sister (that in retrospect should have been handled differently) I am beginning to hope that maybe more people can take on this same view of "Live and Let Live" that I try so hard to embrace.
As I look up acceptance on dictionary.com, I find that I don't like how they word it. So I search deeper and find buried in the definitions of "accept" the heart of what my issue is lately. Defininiton number 6 states that to accept is "to accommodate or reconcile oneself to ie... to accept the situation". However, in my life I strive to be understood and therefore definition number 9 comes into play. Accept meaning "to receive as to meaning; understand".
In a world where so many people are hurting (physically or emotionally) there is a very important healling that can take place by using the practice of acceptance. When I look back to the argument with my sister, I did not approach the situation with definition 9. I used 6- I accepted that she would have her view and I would have mine but if I would have taken it as far as to understand who she is and how she could feel the things she said, we probably would be on speaking terms. And while I have no desire to change the state of our current non-communication (it is for the best) I hope that someone reading this will learn what I have been reminded. Acceptance and Understanding go hand in hand.
We can accept a situation but we must look further than that (into a deeper place) and understand the reasons behind it. By understanding that we are different, we open the doors things we may have never encountered had we simply allowed our ignorance to control us. I've personally been soul searching for why this is so important and I believe that the stresses in my life lately have come from not being able to be understood. I have few people who really "get me" and I am so grateful for them. There are so many days where I can do without those who don't but as the expressive person I am, I feel that maybe helping others understand you is better than them just expecting you to be a certain way. If people know why you do certain things, they are more likely to accept(6) the behavior.
When I practice "Live and Let Live", I tell myself that while I may not like a situation, it is ultimately the other person's decision for their life and try to continue showing them the love and support I have given all along. Sometimes this is not a healthy behavior, sometimes it is all it takes to make a friend more like family. We all strive to be accepted- part of the group. This is our desire to be loved underlying our actions. My new goal is to be understood. Like me or not, you will know why I am the way I am and we'll just have to go from there...
As I look up acceptance on dictionary.com, I find that I don't like how they word it. So I search deeper and find buried in the definitions of "accept" the heart of what my issue is lately. Defininiton number 6 states that to accept is "to accommodate or reconcile oneself to ie... to accept the situation". However, in my life I strive to be understood and therefore definition number 9 comes into play. Accept meaning "to receive as to meaning; understand".
In a world where so many people are hurting (physically or emotionally) there is a very important healling that can take place by using the practice of acceptance. When I look back to the argument with my sister, I did not approach the situation with definition 9. I used 6- I accepted that she would have her view and I would have mine but if I would have taken it as far as to understand who she is and how she could feel the things she said, we probably would be on speaking terms. And while I have no desire to change the state of our current non-communication (it is for the best) I hope that someone reading this will learn what I have been reminded. Acceptance and Understanding go hand in hand.
We can accept a situation but we must look further than that (into a deeper place) and understand the reasons behind it. By understanding that we are different, we open the doors things we may have never encountered had we simply allowed our ignorance to control us. I've personally been soul searching for why this is so important and I believe that the stresses in my life lately have come from not being able to be understood. I have few people who really "get me" and I am so grateful for them. There are so many days where I can do without those who don't but as the expressive person I am, I feel that maybe helping others understand you is better than them just expecting you to be a certain way. If people know why you do certain things, they are more likely to accept(6) the behavior.
When I practice "Live and Let Live", I tell myself that while I may not like a situation, it is ultimately the other person's decision for their life and try to continue showing them the love and support I have given all along. Sometimes this is not a healthy behavior, sometimes it is all it takes to make a friend more like family. We all strive to be accepted- part of the group. This is our desire to be loved underlying our actions. My new goal is to be understood. Like me or not, you will know why I am the way I am and we'll just have to go from there...
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